Terror and agony

Terrible forces rip at my soul
They rise with screams of agony and terror
They hide the sun and the moon from my sight
Yet vanish at my whisper

Who am I
I do not know
Not knowing brings nothing
except nothing

A pit of shit
Am I
Forever cursed
For my wish to see
who I am

I am that
The voice of silence
A twist of fate
Unknown and unknowable
except to myself

Why?
I want to know!
Make myself known
Why can nobody know me?
It's not fair
I want to know

What?
What do I want to know?
I want to know why?
What Am I?

I hate you
Whom created me
I hate you
You threw me into terrors
I could not handle
Why? Why?
I hate you
Hate

Trapped
This is how I feel
Trapped & bound. Helpless.
Help.
I need your help.
I cannot undo my knot.
I am the knot. You made me.
Unmake me.
Now!

Despair
Would that death was an option
How about oblivion?
No more pain
No more anguish
No more terror
No more

What a bliss is that
Absence of anything
Farewell to nothing
Take me away
Kill him. Kill him.
My sense of self.

If I am not
There is no one to feel pain
No one to be terrified
No one to be alone
Bliss

No one cannot have a problem
No one cannot fail or even succeed
I want to be no one
Make me so
Now!

by Rolf Jackson